So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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