I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
i think i just lost a toe
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
