your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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