i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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