He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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