everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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