it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
