it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
