Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
