We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
