just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
