Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
