I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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