somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
