Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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