I wish I only lived at night.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
