At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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