I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
