I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
