Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I don't think brook has ever known best
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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