i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize