I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
