your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
