I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
