when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
