Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
