do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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