my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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