Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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