You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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