I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
