tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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