I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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