break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
