Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
