No stitches, just platelets and will power
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize