I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize