her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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