I'm pants shitting drunk right now
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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