Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
