Will you blow on my dice?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize