my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
