Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
