so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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