in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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