At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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