apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
