Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
They should really pass out barf bags in church
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
