dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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