she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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