It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
