when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
