It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize