Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
