id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
