quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
