i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize