you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.