But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
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I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
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Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out